Starting again?! Oh my goodness…
Yep, I’m trying again! Not that I’ve necessarily failed so far, in fact I’m still a stone lighter than when I started this Quest but I can do better. I NEED to do better!
This Quest was meant to be about losing weight AND becoming fit. To be healthy and able. To date; I am not!
So what happened?
Like everyone else in the world, Covid-19 has had a HUGE impact on my ‘norm’. The stresses of it all, the anxiety of it effecting those I love, as well as working as a key worker throughout, unquestionably knocked me off course. I’ve made no secret in the past, of the fact I comfort eat and that’s exactly what happened. Slowly but surely, the weight I had been so proud to lose, crept back on.
And the exercise?
My beloved Kung Fu lessons have also been ‘paused’ for obvious reasons and I miss it dreadfully. Yet I have also come to realise, I have NO self discipline regarding practice. My Sifu (teacher) has mentioned a number of times he hopes I’ve been continuing to practice and I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t.
I have also neglected my bicycle and turbo trainer. Something that I adore and thoroughly enjoy doing yet something I just haven’t really done.
Because I am mentally, physically and emotionally pooped!
There are so many reasons why and I often worry that it will come across as excuses but for me, they are all very real.
Obviously, since starting this Quest, I have had the diagnosis and added issues regarding my Crohns. *Something I have not taken as seriously as I should, yet something that has had the biggest of impacts on me but I shall expand the reasons why, later in this blog.
At the beginning of July this year, my Dad, Step Mum and youngest sister moved from the UK to Germany. Due to Covid and the restrictions (and the fact that I live in Wales which had different contact rules to England, where they were living at the time), I was unable to see them before they left. Something which I found very hard to comprehend.
Then, at the end of July, my eldest son also moved to Germany (for different reasons and a different area).
Unfortunately, with a number of commitments such as work and university and again, the Wales/England divide, I was unable to see him before he left too. Honestly, I don’t know when I will see any of them next and it is something I am struggling dreadfully with.
Work has also had its challenges with the Pandemic/lock down/isolation and social distancing. I have witnessed and experienced first hand peoples fear. With fear often comes anger, especially with the unknown, which has all too often been aimed at myself and my colleagues. *I must also add that I have also seen the best and kindest of people but sadly, the unkindness is what has stood out the most.
It has also been my savior in many ways too. I appreciate how lucky I am to be working and have the stability and routine a job brings. The support of my colleagues has been second to none. I can honestly say, they have helped me more than they will ever know.
So how will this time be different?
I could sit here and tell you I have this magic plan that will show you the most mesmerising tips and ideas but I don’t.
Not big plans anyway.
What I have done, prior to writing this, is to go back to basics. To realise my weaknesses along with my strengths.
Obviously the major one for me is food.
Between binging, comfort eating, Crohn’s and stress, my diet is horrendous! I skip meals when feeling unwell, I overeat when better. I am constantly revising my triggers to which I have finally picked up on a pattern and I accept my dietary requirements need to compensate a lot of nutrients my body fails to absorb.
Mr P and I have taken time out to research the foods that contain the essential nutrients I need. These include B12, Iron, Folates and Vitamin C.
When one usually tries to lose weight, they are encouraged to eat whole foods which are high in fiber. For me, those are the very foods that irritate my condition so are not part of the new me!
So for a few weeks my diet will compromise of eggs, lean beef/chicken, white bread, white rice with plenty of spinach, peeled fruit and beans. Once I get my head around those, I will add a few other ingredients along the way.
I’m also hoping that my energy levels will increase with the nutrients and diet as one of the symptoms of Crohns, that hits me the hardest is fatigue. Hence my lack of energy for exercise.
So, that’s why I’m starting AGAIN.
Quitting isn’t an option for me as I have so much to see and do but I’m becoming more realistic to the fact that this is no easy feat.