I’m not going to sit here and make excuses to why I’m fat and unfit. What’s the point?
The truth is I eat too much (evidently) and don’t move enough to work it off.
I emotionally eat. If I’m happy: let’s go for a meal to celebrate. If I’m sad: let’s get a takeaway, I can’t be arsed to cook etc etc
Yet in regards to the fitness levels (apart from the fact I do very little), there is a small reason behind it. *note that I say reason, NOT an excuse!
After having C, I had put quite a bit of weight and post natal had kept me hiding in the house. With support from my Dr and family, I changed that. I started cycling and swimming and aqua fit. I was surprisingly fit even if my size didn’t reflect it.
3 yrs later I fell pregnant with Miss P and was determined I would get back to that level of fitness again.
Yet 2 days before I was due to have her (c section), I fell down the stairs. I hit my bump and left leg hard and while P was ok, my leg was not. I used a zimmer frame and crutches for a while and was referred to physio almost immediately. I damaged the nerves in my leg so deeply, the surgeons would never be able to get deep enough with out further problems.
I will always have a highly sensitive and restrictive leg and I have been diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome.
The nerve damage has effected my brain and and while my physiotherapist is fascinated by it all, it is a difficult diagnosis to understand.
*when heat is applied to my bad leg, the mark (shape of object) appears on my good leg! Seeing is believing *
Years ago people had limbs amputated due to lack of understanding regarding it apparently!
Sooooo this is where I am and why I’m so nervous of exercise. It hurts. Heat or cold can make it flare up, walking can, swimming can, stress can.
Mentally I have to accept, it will never be 100% OK but this is PART of the reason I’ve let myself go and now, I want to be normal again.
So if my journey may appear slow or back tracks at times, this would be why.