Since recently being diagnosed, I have found that I am consumed with ‘Is it the Crohns?’ for every ache and pain I experience.
*I’m currently experiencing a spell of extreme tiredness, and I can’t help but wonder if Crohn’s is the reason.
Of course there are a number of reasons why I am feeling this way but my mind always goes back to wondering is it Crohn’s? Is this how I’m going to be feeling from now?…
I wrote a post earlier this week on my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/queeniesquest01/), explaining how I continued to go to my Kung Fu lesson on Monday, even though I had zero energy.
Admittedly I couldn’t participate in the whole lesson but I did take part for the majority of it and to be honest, I felt rather proud for doing so, regardless of feeling rubbish.
I am trying desperately hard not to let this diagnosis define me. To become an excuse or reason why I can’t do exercise. To be the reason why my diet is still so poor. Yet the truth is, I still feel awful.
Apart from the consultant prescribing steroids initially, I haven’t been told how my condition is going to be managed.
I know that my diet needs to change and I know it will be the main factor in my long term care but I’m still trying to get my head around the food aspect of losing weight, let alone controlling it for medical reasons too.
I also have a small confession; I think I’m still in denial about it.
I find it all very overwhelming. It’s making me feel different and that is not something I like to admit.
The thought of researching the Crohns Disease forums scares me.
How daft is that? I’m forever harping on how knowledge is power and yet, I am here avoiding this mass tool of support out there and well, it doesn’t make sense does it?
So, I guess I am now in stalemate.
I can’t feel better or begin to improve until I know what I’m dealing with so evidently, I’m going to have to suck it up buttercup! If I don’t start understanding how the Crohn’s symptoms can effect me, I can’t fix myself and move forward.
Reminder to oneself, this is a blip. Not a full stop…